ruinedchildhood:

Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image

(via lucybradshinkel)

almondmilkpapi:

on my wedding day im gonna tell my wife “you are the most beautiful woman ive ever seen” and then im gonna suck her titties in front of both of our families

(via lucybradshinkel)

  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not

tokomon:

my favorite thing about school was sitting with your friend and flipping through a random textbook pointing at ugly pictures and saying “that’s you.”

(via lucybradshinkel)

tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

(via lucybradshinkel)

#teamtryingtogetmyfuckinglifetogether

clarknokent:

#teamThisShitIsHarderThanItLooks

(Source: lifebykgs, via thatovoxo)

lameborghini:

why do people expect so much of me i still have to use a calculator to find what 6 times 8 is

(via fuckkyourshiettxo)


can i have a relationship where some nights it’s rough sex and then other nights we stay up and just talk and others we just cuddle and mess around with each other or play games together pls and ty

(Source: relentlesscuriosity, via lucybradshinkel)